Friday, July 8, 2011

Big Eyes

The problem with these big eyed ponies?  Not only are they creepy, but they will get glaucoma.  And I would be hate to be the person that has to tend to all of these big-eyed, glaucoma-infected ponies.  Especially the one with wings.

I know this because I went to the eye doctor today.  And I have larger than normal corneas.  Yes, the average cornea is 11 (insert appropriate eye measurement here).  Mine is 13.  One needs no crystal ball to see glaucoma in my future.  Unless there is too much fluid there....

But, that is not all.  I noticed that the doctor was rolling out all sorts of tests I had never 'seen' before.  And after each one, Dr. Mike would rub his hands together.  With a mix of worry and glee.  The kind of glee you see in a professional who gets an unusual case.  It was more than a bit disconcerting.  In all fairness, I had mentioned that I have been having some visual perception issues.  You see, sometimes when I am walking on flat surfaces and the color shifts quickly, I stumble.  I have to stop to catch my balance.  I look ridiculous and I generally cover it up with a joke.  Apparently, this is not good.

In the end, I failed all of those newfangled tests.  I have no depth perception.  My brain has been shutting down any ability to merge the two images headed its way and instead picks an image.  This accounts for that nasty bike accident that broke my front tooth and the pesky walking on flat surfaces problem.  His eyes were wide (although appropriately sized), when he told me that my case was "most unusual" and may require "training" my brain. 

Sigh.