Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Fumbling

I was supposed to read over 100 pages of Gadamer for today's class, plus another 50 of some secondary source.

The very fact that I focused on the number of pages, not the text tells you a lot, eh? I didn't really read it. I didn't even really read the link that I included on this entry.

Don't fret. It didn't stop me from talking in class. I found myself defining the Romantic movement (I used context clues from the discussion), surfaced the POWER issue (an ace in the hole...always able to bring that one out) and questioned the fused horizon concept as too static (mildly got shot down). It felt familiar. Almost as if I was back in college, not graduate school.

I'd like to say that my inattention to the demands of classes are because of The Boy. But, it is not exactly that simple. It is the fusion of my core lazy issue, the complete identity upheaval of shifting between mom/graduate student/wife/friend/me, and Spence's unreliable nap schedule.

I am overwhelmed by my future. What used to be so simple when I was 10 (lawyer/weekend vet) is now fleshy and unmanageable. I am hurling myself towards a doctoral degree without a clear road map.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wish I had more to say on this issue besides "sounds familiar"....
xoxo,
AMPC

Emily said...

I'm humming bars of "get out the map" but I don't really think you need one with your intuition and talent of gleaning information...the back roads can get you the same place as the highway.